


The Fear of the Unsaid

by Coffeeteanves



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blood, Concerts, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oneshot, Surgery, Whump, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23857963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffeeteanves/pseuds/Coffeeteanves
Summary: The boom sound from the mic, then the telltale sign of his body hitting the ground, none too gracefully. That will be the sound he hears when he closes his eyes.His boots at eye level and then the sudden drop when they leave his line of sight, looking over and seeing his back, him lying on his side, not moving. That will be what he sees when he closes his eyes.The feel of his damp clothes, soft and malleable with the hardness of the mic he drops from his own fingers and then red liquid that attaches itself to his skin when he goes to check for pulse. That will be what he remembers feeling when he closes his eyes.A what could have happened oneshot if Liam didn't sit right back up at the Croke concert after he fell.Part of my whump series check out: Not Feeling it Today (Niall) and One Other Thing (Harry)
Relationships: Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	The Fear of the Unsaid

All it took was a split second for his heart to fall in his chest. He saw it, he knew something was going to happen, he pointed it out, but it wasn’t enough. Not enough time, enough notice, enough. 

The boom sound from the mic, then the telltale sign of his body hitting the ground, none too gracefully. That will be the sound he hears when he closes his eyes. 

His boots at eye level and then the sudden drop when they leave his line of sight, looking over and seeing his back, him lying on his side, not moving. That will be what he sees when he closes his eyes. 

The feel of his damp clothes, soft and malleable with the hardness of the mic he drops from his own fingers and then red liquid that attaches itself to his skin when he goes to check for a pulse. That will be what he remembers feeling when he closes his eyes. 

The flurry of activity around the periphery of his eyesight goes unnoticed, he only has eyes for him and he is not moving and that scares him more than anything else in his entire life. He can tell by the blood pooling around his head, the way his arm is laying at a grotesque angle with rivets of blood trailing down his fingers dripping from the tips into the darkness below the stage that it is serious.

When time stands still, it has to speed back up to right itself. He thinks he just witnessed it. What seemed like an hour, was only a matter of seconds when he heard his name. In those minutes, he thinks he may have lost the owner of his heart. 

“Zayn, Zayn, is Liam okay?” The question registers in his brain, but not beyond that. A question he cannot answer. 

But like a rubber band snapping, Zayn hears the roar of the fans and music still playing, but no vocals and he needs to act.

He makes eye contact with the crew off stage, “Get Paul” he mouths. 

Zayn looks back at the boys and sees their stunned looking faces. They are looking at him with concern and the fear must register on his face because they come bounding over. 

By now, Zayn is kneeling next to Liam’s head trying to check his breathing, concerned at the odd angle he landed. 

“Is he alright?” Harry asks first. 

“Look at the blood,” Zayn responds. 

“Oh, damn. Liam, can you hear me? Li,” Louis says, shaking Liam. 

No response. 

“He hit his head on the step,” Zayn says not hiding his concern. 

“Where the hell is Paul?” Niall asks. 

Louis runs off stage hollering for someone to call an ambulance, grabbing a stack of the towels. Paul comes out and follows him. 

“It’s bad, he’s bleeding and unconscious,” Louis tells Paul seeing the question on his face. 

Paul brings the walkie up to his mouth, all but shouting to get a medic.

“Help me get him on his back,” Zayn says while he stabilizes his head. 

Zayn’s hand is slick with blood, he is thankful when Louis is shoving a towel down to press against the wound. Louis holds it there applying pressure. 

“Liam, LIAM, babe, I need you to wake up, can you hear me?” Harry says.

No response. 

Niall is by Liam’s feet, hands squeezing his ankles trying to get a response, fear evident in his eyes. His lips are moving in a silent prayer that his brother will be okay. 

By now the music has stopped, house lights have come up and the fans are quiet. Their security is shielding them from the fans’ eyes, forming a protective barrier. 

Medics rush on the stage, Harry, Niall, and Louis are forced to move away. Zayn, holding Liam’s head, stays, his thumbs brushing against Liam’s cheeks willing him to respond. 

No response. 

A medic tries to stimulate Liam by rubbing his sternum, no movement. They check his pupils; Zayn feels slight relief when they say they are equal and reactive. He has seen enough medical dramas to know what that means. His head is bandaged, but the blood still continues to flow. 

No response. 

One of the medics wraps Liam’s arm, while the other prepares to put a collar on. Radioing that they need a backboard. 

Still, no response. 

It’s at that moment that Liam coughs and blood starts bubbling out of his mouth. The icy shot of fear that spikes Zayn’ heart is indescribable. 

A response, but not one they wanted. 

Liam’s shirt is quickly cut away and Zayn sees the swelling near his ribs along with the discoloration already making itself known. 

“Shit, I think his lung is punctured, ribs must be broken,” one of the medics says while the other radios in. 

Zayn is asked to remove his hands as the collar is placed and he is brushed away as the medics move in a more efficient, yet frantic pace. 

“He only has one kidney,” Zayn blurts out, not knowing if that is helpful or not. He is standing there trying to keep the fear at bay. 

From there, things move faster than Zayn can comprehend. A breathing tube is put in, an IV, and then Liam is being strapped to a backboard and put on the awaiting stretcher and then they are gone. 

That silence, right there. That is something Zayn will remember too. The silence laced with fear, terror and shock. 

Zayn looks at where Liam was, a puddle of blood that shouldn’t be there, his mic peeking out from the behind the step, as if it was anthropomorphic and looking for its owner. Liam’s mic pack off to the side and the bloody towels, the red a stain on the bright white; the juxtaposition of the two colors are what does it. 

Zayn looks around before turning to the side vomiting the contents of his stomach, eventually falling to his knees, the strength he showed before leaving him. Hands are touching him and soothing words are reaching his ears, but not registering who or what is being said. 

He falls back and cries, there is simply nothing else to do. His body has gone through every emotion, and has no more ways to express itself so it manufactures tears, falling without the owner’s consent. Each one filled with the fear of the unknown of his fallen brother. 

Zayn hears his name, breaking him out of his stupor and he sees Niall next to him, tears falling down his face as well. 

“We are going to change and head to the hospital. Let’s get you up,” Niall says.

Not sure how he made it, he is in the bathroom, looking down at his hands. The water washing away the blood in ribbons down the drain. 

Louis puts some clothes on the counter and Zayn looks up in the mirror, making eye contact, a nod of thanks instead of words. He doesn’t trust himself to speak. 

“Hurry, Zayn, we want to leave in five,” Louis responds. 

A destination, a task, that is what Zayn needs to start moving. 

The boys, now changed, all pile in the van driven by Paul. Zayn leaves room for Liam and turns to say something and then closing his mouth. The drive is silent, there is no reason to speak, the same thoughts are going through each boy’s head as they arrive at the hospital. 

Their bodyguards are quick to surround them as they run into A and E while Paul inquires at the desk. They are ushered into a private waiting room, to wait, to hear about someone they all love. 

Liam was so excited about the concert tonight, but he was more excited for Niall. This was his home, his country and tonight they were going to celebrate him. Zayn and Liam had heard Niall talk about this for weeks and watched him cross the days off the calendar counting down. Smiling at his exuberance, his innocence still refreshing for as long as they toured. 

Niall, himself was literally jumping off the walls, the floor, the couch.

“Oi, oi, there Neil, enough of that, we don’t want you to injure yourself before your home concert,” Louis said. 

There was so much excitement in the air that all the boys were feeling it. They knew this concert was special. A welcome home for the Irish lad and a sold-out stadium to play too. 

The only negative was the rain, but supposedly it would slow down by showtime. 

Niall is living his best life during the concert and all the boys are loving watching him sing, dance and play his heart out, Zayn especially. He is having so much fun watching, that he sometimes forgets to sing. 

That makes Liam laugh as he walks by Zayn and puts an affectionate arm over his shoulders. “It’s great to see him so happy, yeah?” Liam asks. 

Zayn smiles and nods and Liam loves seeing a bit of the private Zayn show through, dropping his façade. It makes Liam smile even more as he makes eye contact with Louis and he motions his head towards Zayn and Niall. Louis catches what he means and it is as though smiling is contagious because it is reaching all of their eyes tonight. 

The rain has lessened, but it is still drizzling, making the stage a bit slippery. The boys are cautious and not up to the usual antics because of it, nobody wants to ruin Niall’s night. As the concert is coming to a close, Harry motions to the boys to join him in their places to regroup before the finale for “Best Song Ever.” 

Liam is off on one of the catwalks when he sees Harry’s cue and he starts heading to his spot when he sees Zayn point down. He looks, but it doesn’t register. He feels his feet fly out from beneath him, sees Zayn’s alarmed face. Liam knows what’s happening and he knows Zayn is going to be upset with him and then everything goes dark. 

Pain, radiating pain registers in Liam’s mind. He is in the floating nothingness between facing reality and sinking back down to escape it. Liam registers a noise and feels a squeeze, but it is not enough to cause him to reach the surface. He squeezes back in apology before sinking. 

Zayn hears the moan, looking up immediately at Liam. He still looks the same, frozen in the nightmare they are currently in with the exception of slow and steady breathing, proof of that is from the heart monitor attached to Liam. Zayn questions, if he really heard something or was it a manifestation of what he has been praying to happen. He squeezes Liam’s hand, a hand he has not let go of since he was able to see his friend/brother/something more that he was not sure of. 

“Liam,” he says quietly. Hopeful that he will receive a response. The other boys are gathered around him, looking, watching as well. 

Then he felt it, a squeeze, a recognition, a response. It was what he needed. 

“He squeezed back, he squeezed back. Li, Li, can you hear me?” Zayn said. 

No response, but this time it is not as scary. 

They had waited in the private room into the early morning. The only thing Paul had passed on was that he was being evaluated and they were running tests and surgery may be needed on his arm.

The atmosphere in the room was tense. Tense with sadness, fear, concern, and for Zayn, things unsaid. No one spoke, but they stayed near one another. Touch was their communication. It always has been and that is how they were supporting one another now. Every once in awhile, Zayn would spread his hands out in front of him, not seeing them now, but seeing them as before. Harry knew and would just take his large hands and cover Zayn’s with his. Zayn would look at Harry and the words unsaid between their glance was enough. All Zayn could do was nod in understanding. 

The doctor came in early in the morning before the sun heralded a new day. As if choreographed, everyone stood up at the same time gearing themselves up for what the doctor had to say. 

“Liam will make a full recovery,” he said first. 

The relief was palatable in the room because that was all they wanted to hear but the doctor was still there, and then the word “will” registered in Zayn’s brain. “Will” did not mean now, Zayn looked up at the doctor. A question in his eyes. 

“We needed to take him to surgery to place a pin in his arm where he broke it. That should be healed in six to eight weeks. When he fell, his two of his ribs cracked, and one tore his lung, that is why you saw blood. It was not as bad as a puncture; we were able to drain his lung without a tube and repair the tear. His head required stitches and there is no swelling or sign of a skull fracture, nor a concussion. He is in stable condition, everything considered, he is very lucky,” the doctor finished. 

“How can we help him?” Harry asked. 

“I will take you to see him in a moment. Sit with him, talk to him. Once he wakes up, he will probably be able to go home in two to three days. We need to keep an eye on his lungs and make sure there is no infection. He should be back to performing without running around in two to three weeks. Keeping him calm will be your biggest challenge,” he finishes. 

Zayn feels relief throughout his body, Liam is lucky, they are lucky. In his mind, it was so much worse. His imagination going through scenarios each worse than the one before. More relief floods through Zayn when he finally can see Liam. This new picture, albeit not great, is replacing the previous one from the stage as Zayn pulls over a chair and grabs Liam’s good hand before any of the other boys move. 

The ocean of darkness is becoming lighter in his mind as he notices that the pain is a little more manageable than before. Most coming from his left side, he thinks back to what caused it. Zayn’s face appears in his mind and then he remembers falling and landing hard. What he is lying on now is soft, and he smells cleaning solution, concluding he jacked himself up enough that he is in the hospital. 

Liam focuses on opening his eyes because the face that is keeping him on the surface of the darkness, his anchor, is the one he wants to see in real life. The final push to separate his eyelids works and he is looking right at Zayn. A completely different face than the last one he saw. 

“Ah, there you are,” Zayn says with a smile. 

“Hi,” Liam responds. 

“Hi back. You are not allowed to do that again, you understand?” Zayn says. 

Liam nods and points to his mouth. 

Louis has enough wherewithal to grab the water and hold it for Liam to take a drink. 

“How you feeling Li?” Niall asks 

“No pain, just uncomfortable. Hit my head, didn’t I?” he asks. 

Harry responds and tells Liam what happened. That’s when Liam looks at his arm and sees the cast and then pain registers as if seeing is knowing. He must grimace because Zayn is immediately asking what hurts. Liam points to his arm and Louis tells him about the surgery. 

“Damn, I just can’t fall like a regular person huh?” Liam says. 

“No, you did a right number on yourself. Scared all of us to death, you did. You didn’t wake up Li, it was really scary,” Zayn explains. 

“How long?” Liam asks. 

“How long were you out?” Zayn asks. Liam nods. “Almost 24 hours, it’s dinner time now.” 

“Ni,” Liam says. 

“Yeah,” Niall responds. 

“I’m so sorry for ruining your concert, I didn’t mean to, I feel so bad,” Liam says apologetically. 

“Now, ya’ git. Stop it. You didn’t ruin anything. I’ll ‘ave none of that talk. Months from now we will laugh at this,” Niall says. 

“Li, it could have happened to any of us, this is no one’s fault. It happens,” Zayn says. 

Just then Paul comes in and smiles when he sees Liam awake. They speak and Paul wants to take the boys back to the hotel to rest. Liam doesn’t know why, but he wants Zayn to stay. 

Absently, Zayn grabs Liam’s good hand and says, “Paul, uh, if it is okay, I would like to stay with Liam, if you don’t mind.” Zayn must be able to read Liam’s mind. 

The other boys exchange knowing glances with each other and Paul says that is fine, saying one of their guards will be outside all night. 

When everyone else leaves, Zayn sits on the edge of the bed, next to Liam and brings his hand up to brush some hair off Li’s face. Liam looks at him and is not sure of the swirling emotions he feels in his stomach. 

“Li, that was the scariest thing I have ever been through. You landed and then you didn’t move. Then I saw the blood. I thought you were dead. I had to stabilize your spine until they could immobilize you,” Zayn broke off, his breath catching in his throat as he tries to control his emotions. 

“Hey, none of that. I’m here now. A little worse for the wear, but I am here,” Liam says as he tries to scoot over and make room for Zayn on his bed. 

Zayn arranges himself around Liam, careful to not hurt him and holds his hand, willing himself to speak. 

“It’s just, when they took you away, I thought that I never told you,” Zayn says. 

“Told me what, luv?” Liam asks. 

“That you mean a lot to me. Out of all the boys, you are the one I’m closest too and it is making me feel these things that I’m not sure about, but I needed you to know,” he finishes. 

“I know,” Liam says trying to hide the fatigue that is weighing his eyelids down. 

“You do?” asks Zayn.

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to figure out how I feel too. Let’s figure it out together, what’d ya’ say?” Liam asks struggling by now to stay awake. 

“I think I would like that, now go to sleep,” Zayn says as he kisses the top of Liam’s head. 

He feels more secure in knowing that when he closes his eyes now, he will smell Liam’s minty smell, he feels Liam’s smooth skin and soft hair, and he hears the quiet snores of a restful sleep. Zayn will take those over the other memories any day.


End file.
